How To Fall In Love With Your Husband Again


I want that old thang back…

This is not how it was supposed to be…we barely speak unless it’s about the bills and kids…we hardly see one another, it’s like we are on two different planets…what happen to the tight hugs…long talks…blushed smiles…understanding…fun and exciting escapades… WHAT HAPPEN TO THE LOVE….

Life happened! Things in life that are more demanding robs us of the attention that was once shared...there are children to deal with and care after…work doesn’t stop! That’s how we eat and pay the bills…and he is working more than ever to provide a great lifestyle for the wife and kids.

You can’t get that old thang back…but we will give you the secrets to making that “old thang” the “new thang”…


  1. Fall Back in Love with Yourself: Get your confidence back, raise your self-esteem. Regain your identity, you’re not just a wife or a mom. It’s not all about the husband and the kids. It’s all about you, identify yourself, love yourself, become irresistible. Treat yourself to the spa, or a quick vacation alone or with your girlfriends. As a wife and mom life gets overwhelming at times and we become so caught up in our family life that we forget to live as individuals. Nothings more attractive than to see someone who has a life…when you have a life big things become small thing. Be mysterious, have your own agenda that sometimes do not include the hubby. Smile everyday…look in the mirror and tell yourself your beautiful and blow a kiss at yourself. Look attractive, keep your hair and nails done, dress pretty…stand up straight, keep your head high. Say no, and don’t feel bad. Once in a blue don’t go straight home, treat yourself to dinner and a glass of wine. Read a good book. Hang with your girlfriends, or family. Just love yourself and have an identity outside of your marriage and motherhood.
  2. Positive Thoughts Only: The minute you allow negative thoughts towards your husband or your marriage to enter your mental space, your setting your marriage up for failure. Do not say things to yourself like, “this marriage is not working,” “I love him, but, I’m not in love with him,”  “I want a divorce,” “I hate this marriage,” or “he is a terrible husband.” Think about why you married him in the first place, let those thoughts make your heart melt. Make a list of all his good qualities and the reasons why you love him, and see how you can add to his qualities to enhance your marriage. Understand and respect that marriage is not perfect and it will have its moments of despair…but together you have to make it your perfect marriage. Note, if you have allowed negative thoughts to consume your head…more than likely you are not smiling as much, your energy has declined, and your aura is unattractive. No man wants to be around a Debbie Downer… Greet him with a smile tonight when he comes through the door. If he has a confused or surprised look on his face, say, “I’m smiling because I love my husband.” 
  3. Give Him Some Attention: Acknowledge his cologne…ask him what fragrance is he wearing. Let him know he smells good (lean in and gently rub your nose across and sniff his neck) ummm…that’s nice. Notice his haircut and/or his new outfit. Often give him compliments. Grab his hands when you are talking to him…give him eye contact (sexy eye contact as much as you can). Men love to be noticed too and they love a compliment as much as we do. 
  4. Let Him Know You’re Still Interested: Ask him about his day. Listen attentively when he speaks, do not give a response until he is done. Ask him what it is he would like to eat for dinner.  When he is leaving out, ask him where he is going. Not in a possessive way…but in a way that lets him know that you will be waiting for him when he returns. Let him know how much you value your marriage and him as a husband. 
  5. Stop Comparing to Those Other Guys: Please stop comparing him to your girlfriend’s husband…or to your ex’s – your killing your marriage! He doesn’t care about the other guy and neither should you. Your husband is special in his own way… so what he doesn’t buy you flowers, perfume, purses and all that stuff. Stop looking at the deficits and thinking about what he is not doing. Think about how he cares for you and how hard he works to provide for his family, how he interacts with the kids.  Find ways to love your husband for him. If not, you’re going to be miserable and make everything and everyone miserable around you.
  6. Don’t Stop Get it Get it: No excuses…I know you have worked all day and was busy with the children…but you HAVE to feed his sexual appetite! No more, “not tonight,” or playing sleep when he comes to bed. If not tonight, then when???  Even if your sleep, if he taps you on your shoulder roll over… Put it on him! Even if you have to make scheduled sexual arrangements – when it goes down…turn the heat on – make it hot! Work it like, you just started dating and your trying to keep him. Do not be afraid to try new things…keep it spicy. Dress up, role play…change you name for the night. Keep it fun, freaky and sexy. Men like a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets…
  7. Give Non-Verbal Love and Affection: Love and affection does not require sexual interaction. A simple rub on the back. Holding hands while walking or watching TV.  An unexpected wink or blow of a kiss while he is playing with the kids, watching his sports, reading, or while his boys are over. Hug every day. Kiss every night before going to bed. Hug while in bed… lay on his chest, lap, or back. Walk by and rub on his butt or back. Touch often.
  8. Kindness Goes a Long Way: Kindness is always impressive. It makes it very hard for someone to mistreat you without feeling horrible. I’m not saying be someone’s doormat and let them walk over you. I’m saying, choose you words kindly…it is easy to say mean and nasty things when we feel hurt or disappointed, but sometimes it hard to take back. If you love your husband and you plan on spending the rest of your life with him, find positive thought provoking words to make your point. Lift him up with your kindness as much as possible. There is something about kindness that creates a boomerang effect.
  9. Communicate without criticism, judgement, or advice: Communicating is a skill…it requires you to listen properly and to respond in a proper manner. Communication is a skill you have to hone. It is optimum in a marriage. Without proper communication your marriage will quickly deteriorate. Allow you husband to speak with cutting him off…listen thoroughly. Respond without judgement or criticism… Always speak your mind but in a respectable, considerate, and kind manner. Do not solicit your advice. Your husband is a grown man…speak to him as such. If you follow this very important step, you will see that he will come to you for advice because he will respect the way you listen to him, and he will want to know what you think or what your take is on the situation. 
  10. New Beginnings: Out with the old, in with the new…so cliché but true. What ever happen, happened it is now a thing of the past. Focus on the love you have for one another. Date each other again. Have conversations that are not about bills and children, but just about your interest in each other and your individual interest. Go on mini vacations…even if it just to your local hotel, as long as it is just you and your husband. Go on dates with other couples (happy couples). Dance in the home. Go out dancing. Let the children see you their mom and dad happy. Include him in game night with the kids. Plan family outings where you can enjoy your kids together. Let him know he needed, wanted, and loved by you. Put love notes in his pocket. Send him text and sexy pictures of you. Be sexy and let him be your photographer. Eat dinner together as much as possible. Hug and tell him you love him every day.

Ladies, you all are probably saying wait…this is a lot of me giving... Well the title is 10 STEPS ON HOW TO FALL BACK IN LOVE WITH YOUR HUSBAND. In marriage it’s about a whole lot of giving…you have to give 100%, 100% of the time. Throughout your marriage you have given your best self, so that you can the best out of your marriage.

Marriage is like a ship sailing the seas, but what is important is how you sail that ship during the storm when waters are rough. You have to refuse to hit the rocks and sink the ship. You have to control that ship, grab a hold of it like your life depended on it and keep that boat a float.

Blogged by Janine Smalls-Gueye

Janine Smalls